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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in marianspike's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, March 12th, 2006
5:55 pm
None of me is the same as it was two years ago...

We are capable of change, we are capable of forgetting that which has hurt us...we are all capable of humanity, that is what makes us so special.
Monday, October 31st, 2005
12:26 am
Your Kissing Purity Score: 43% Pure

You're not one to kiss and tell...

But word is, you kiss pretty well.

YAY!!! I'm still a whore ; )
Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
7:16 pm
I want to dress up for halloween, but I've been told thats childish.

I've been told saying icy is childish as well

Oh well I'm not going to stop do that.

Guess who I want to be!!!
Friday, October 14th, 2005
10:35 pm
As if it matters how many people I've slept with
because I've slept with so many

I hate boys

I hate the male population

I Guess I'm just a whore after all
Monday, October 3rd, 2005
10:19 pm
Pshylock is my favorite, I want to be her. I love white cheddar popcorn, the kind in the bag. I'm so tired after this weekend I am dizzy about to pass out, why am I up YOu may ask? Or most likely not cause you know what ever, but I don't know, I'm putting it off like a true procrastinator.


I miss my friends
I have none here
I should have taken into consideration how much I was going to miss every one before I decided to transfer to buffalo

Fuck Buffalo it can kiss my shiny metal ass

Current Mood: blah
Sunday, September 18th, 2005
7:57 pm
Nothing is ever what it seems at first.

I hate buffalo, I have so much fucking work to do.

I hate stupid professors that give me there damn colds in my quest for higher education.

I don't know what I'm going to do with my life, I don't really want to even think about it, the prospect of getting a full time job bores me and it seem like its going to take up way to much of my time.

I wish I was 60 years old, ok maybe not, but retired people got it made.

If reincarnation exists I don't want to come back.

I wish I had friends to talk to, I wish my boyfriend would call me back.


not you

Oh yeah, I want a little pig as a pet, I just had a dream about it, it seemed fun to me.

Current Mood: cranky
Tuesday, June 14th, 2005
1:00 am
I wish I didn't have a brain, then I wouldn't think of you!
So I'm at my aunts house for a week. Going to Hershey park hopefuly tomorrow, we will see about that. I want to honey moon there so any one I marry needs to love roller coasters as much as I do, and not think that they are going to get into an accident or fall out or get sick, or not like them (hehe, wow, sleep might be a good thing at this point.)

Do you ever get the feeling that no one really cares, they just care cause they are suppose to, or maybe perhaps because they want you to care about them?

I wish I was like 80 years old and I already did every thing I needed too, and I was just peacefully waiting for my time to leave... I hope reincarnation is a lie, because I'm to tired to come back again, its all just a whole lot of grief, and disappointment that at this point in time, maybe because its late, maybe because I'm tired, maybe because my heart is broken never to be fixed again, I do not want to deal with.

Do you ever think about shit you don't want to. It gets so old with me cause thats all I do, and I think about every thing all the fucking time, its just stupid, like me.

Blah blah blah I suck right now, I apologize... what a winny bitch I am

I guess this is what having too much free time on your hands turns out to be like...

Good night world
I wish it was good bye

Current Mood: cranky
Monday, June 6th, 2005
12:06 am
"'O! Hwai dungsyi'-You bad little thing-said the woman teasing her baby granddaughter. 'Is Buddha teaching you to laugh for no reason?' As the baby continued to gurgle, the woman felt a deep wish stirring in her heart.
'Even if you could live forever,' she said to the baby, 'I still don't know which way I would teach you. I was once so free and innocent. I too laughed for no reason.
'But later I threw away my foolish innocence to protect my self. And then I taught my daughter, your mother, to shed her innocence so she would not be hurt as well.
'Hwai dungsyi, was this kind of thinking wrong? If I now recognize evil in other people, is it not because I have become evil too? If I see someone has a suspicious nose, have I not smelled the same bad things?'
The baby laughed, listening to her grandmother's laments.
'O!O! You say you are laughing because you have already lived forever, over and over again? You say you are Syi Want Mu, Queen MOther of the Western Skies, now come back to give me the answer? Good, good, I am listening....
'Thank you, Little Queen. Then you must teach my daughter this same lesson. How to lose your innocence but not your hope. How to laugh forever.'"

Current Mood: lethargic
Thursday, May 5th, 2005
7:51 pm
Maybe the reason I'm not friends with any one I've dated is because I am afraid there may be a repeat, or that I will still like them to a point were it hurts not being with them. Or maybe I'm just weak willed and would end up wanting them again, in some cases, granted we all know why I'm not friends with ted any more. I guess its just a self preservation thing. Or maybe I'm just disgusted by what I've done (hehehe) or maybe I just don't want to be reminded of the crap I let people do to me. Or maybe I just feel like they are just supper creepy and I cringe when I see them so why would I want to talk to them.

What ever the reason is its a fact that I don't talk to any of the boys I've been with. I regret it sometimes but other times I Know its necessary. All my relationships have been painful, why would I want to remember them by talking to the boys that caused the pain? I havn't had a relationship were a guy has been good to me, where its ended because the feelings were just mutually not there.

And If some one breaks my heart over and over again when its over I'm not going to try and talk to them. Thats just way to door mat like even for me.

Current Mood: content
Sunday, April 10th, 2005
9:10 pm
I hate boys,
boys are stupid,
I hate boys,
but they are sooo cute,
I hate cute boys,
cause they can get away with anything,
I hate boys,
boys are stupid!!!!

I told bridget I wrote a poem, and read it to her, and she laughed. She doesn't take my art seriously, thats good cause neither do I.
Friday, April 1st, 2005
5:58 pm
Happy april fools day.
Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
10:30 am
If it wasn't for the chase I would never be interested.

I just have to keep that in mind.
Monday, March 14th, 2005
7:43 pm
Do you ever get the feeling that your the butt of an on going joke that you don't know about?

So i have a little brother now, I'm happy about it. Mark is my little, he finally said yes : ) Couldn't be happier in this aspect of my life, in others I am very skeptical.

I hope you're not that mean

Current Mood: weird
Sunday, March 6th, 2005
9:03 pm
My tarot cards arn't working, or perhaps they are I just don't want to listen to what they have to say. I don't like school, well I do I guess cause it gives me a job. I'm tired, I've been talking to my self freely now because I'm so tired, yes yes, I am crazy. I hope I'm really not, that would kinda stink. Oh well every one must think I'm crazy, crazy is the best way to be man. Ok I'm going to stop talking now!!!


Current Mood: crazy
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005
11:42 pm
Only evil step mothers have black hair, but I guess so does Jasmine so well just go with that.

If I let you In
I can't guarantee you are going to like what I show you.

Current Mood: curious
Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
7:39 pm
No more boys for me, thats all I have to say.

Current Mood: crappy
Tuesday, February 8th, 2005
4:39 pm
If u want me too, I'll bleed for you

I have so much work to do. GOd, who invented college, it sucks hehe. Is it the 19th yet?
Monday, February 7th, 2005
12:43 pm
fuck, fuck fuck, mother mother fuck fuck
I hate vocab, screw that shit, so glad I bombed that quiz, how wonderful!!!! Mid evil lit, you suck balls.
Sunday, February 6th, 2005
6:17 pm
Super bowl sunday, who the fuck cares, honestly. Drove back to oneonta today after being home, what a shame. but I listened to the white album and realized how much I truly loved it. oh yes, and sugar cookies are great, have a tone if you want some.

Current Mood: bouncy
Thursday, February 3rd, 2005
10:28 am
Be very very quite, I'm hunting for a hot blond.

Walking back from horrible economics class I decided that there were just tooooo many hot ass guys to be committed to just one. Also I realized I'm to young (19, soon to be old at 20, oh well at least jilian goes before me, hehe) to be unhappy. I truly have not reason for it.

SO its time to seize the day, and go find millions of hot boys to love for one night. I mean I don't want to sleep with all of them, but I am not going to be committed any more, guys are dick heads, and after this relationship I'm not settling till I find a guy that I really connect with. I guess I'm gonna be lonely. Wait, I have way to many friends to be lonely!!!!! YAY!!!

Hot blond boys get ready cause I'm coming for you, and you know you can't hide!! hehe, get ready.

Current Mood: happy
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